Baby steps are scary

About five years ago (or maybe more) I wrote a children's book about a little girl named Pearl who was a picky eater. She goes to visit her grandma on a farm and eventually overcomes her limiting habit, returning home to a surprised but grateful mother.

Truth: I was very proud of this book.
Fact: I shared it with a few people including published authors but did not send to a publisher or agent.
Truth: It's a pretty good book.
Fact: I was afraid of rejection.

Recently I've been going through therapy which has been both terrifying and empowering. The reasons I started are not the reasons I keep going. But because I kept going and listened to some people I admire and care about, I recently took the bold step to pull out the book and register for a regional writer's conference in April. I am both thrilled and frightened.

What if they think my book is silly and tell me to rewrite it a million different ways. What if I just wasted a bunch of money by hanging my hopes on meeting the right person who will love my book at first sight and cry, "Courtney where have you been all my life? You are the next Judy Blume AND Beverly Cleary!" What if...what if...what if?

That is not something I want to think about in 2, 5 or 20 years. I've been given this day to make a difference and live my dreams. Through journalism and telling other people's stories I have made an impact of good for many people. It's funny...we tell our youth to do that every day but somehow as most of us get older and have kids and get mortgages we forget how to live and take risks. It's just easier not to do that.

Well, I just did. And whatever happens I'm going to keep on writing. 

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 6:25 AM

    So happy for you, Courtney! I hope you keep on writing and submitting. Best wishes, Kashmira

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 4, 2015 at 8:21 PM

    I'm 'write' there with you! Would love to chat about our writing journeys over coffee one day soon. :)

    ReplyDelete

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