Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Mommy needs a Makeover

Snapchat experiment
A few months ago I colored and cut my hair. It was darker, flippier and made people look at me twice.

"Did you darken your hair? You look so different."
"I didn't recognize you!"
"Love your new look (winky, winky. OK I made that up. Nobody but a weirdo or my Mom winks at me anymore. I'm 47 for God's sake!)

Anyway, in my world, change is welcome -  no matter how small. All this "live in the moment" and "being present" talk exhausts me sometimes because frankly, I'm bored with the moment. I've been working at the same job for 10 years. Married to the same (wonderful) man for 25 years and living in the same house for 22 years. At 32 I must have been going through something like this because I got a tattoo. An astrological and now graying tattoo that to this day I forget is there until I see my drooping backside in the mirror and think, "What the hell was I thinking getting a tramp stamp?"

My Dad has this awesome saying, "You change, to learn to grow." I can't remember the last time I tried anything new unless you count getting a Snapchat account because I was amused by the funny apps my foreign exchange daughter kept showing me and making me laugh harder than I have in a long time. Suddenly I could be a bunny, or a goth, or Golem (I do a mean "My Precious!" given the chance and voiceover). It was stupid but fun. Until of course my own biological daughter berated and unfriended me because apparently Snapchat belonged to her and her alone.

So, I'm kind of stewing in my stable little world waiting for something to happen. I have always believed in fate and signs and such, but realize that Hugh Grant is not going to walk into my office and ask me to dash off to Britain, and I do not have the patience for knitting or talent for starting my own band. My husband once bought me the ukulele I just had to have one Christmas. I played it all of four times.

Don't get me wrong, I am so so grateful for my life and health and friends and family. I admire people who work at the same job for 30+ years (shout out to Dad), and eat the same thing for breakfast and are confined to a very small world due to circumstances beyond their control and never complain. But I am not that person.

I need more than a haircut. I need a life makeover.

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